Disappear

by Andrée Béchard, mother of Marilyn
Do not tell me the time arranges things,
Do not tell me to cross steps one by one,
Do not talk to me about mourning,
But tell me of hope.
Give me the strength,
Tell me not to despair.
Disappear.
It’s her silence.
Silence in her voice, her joys, her music.
These are life moments without her,
Moments that should be shared.
It’s the usual gaze on the same objects, her objects,
Interspersed with daily actions,
Where words and questions are lost.
Do not tell me to move on,
In this new situation, I still find her.
Do not talk to me as if she no longer exists.
She is just elsewhere, perhaps even different.
Do not tell me about memories and forgetting them at the same time,
But tell me of will,
Tell me of energy fighting fear,
Give me wisdom;
Which allows me to believe and carry on.
Disappear
It is to speak of her in the present tense,
Without counting the hours and days that separate me from her,
The darkness of the night comes back and helps clear away the heaviness of her absence.
Still, I look forward to the new morning!
Who knows … at sunset …
I may finally have the long awaited news!
MESSAGE TO MARILYN
To our beloved daughter, Marilyn
Since February 17, 2008, we never stop thinking about you. We are looking for you everywhere. Being without news of you has profoundly changed our lives. You know how much we love you. We would love to see you and hug you.
Wherever you are, whatever your lifestyle, we will respect you. We will always be there to support, encourage, and help you if that’s what you want. We kindly ask Mary… Please contact us, your family, so that we can be relieved in hearing your voice.
You cannot imagine how happy it would make us!
We are so worried and sad!
Give us some news Mary! We need you!
Mom and dad who love you xxx

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