Nine years of disappearance

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I saw you for the last time in January 2008, at the funeral of our grandfather.
We were seated next to each other at the kitchen table.

I was busy preparing a souvenir video. You helped me.

It was more than three o’clock in the morning. You asked me why I was trying to finish a project too big for the little time I had before me.
I replied, “So that we can see Grandpa at least once as we knew him before the disease, before Alzheimer’s.”

If I saw you again today Marilyn, could I recognize you?

Tonight I look at pictures of you. What’s going on in your life right now? Are you even still alive?

These images are precious. I do not know if I will have others one day. I wish I had more.

I still do not know what happened on February 17, 2008.

If you have reasons for not coming back, I will understand them, but say something, please.
If a tragedy hit you and maybe shame stifles you, know that the past does not matter. Only the present and the future count.
If you are forced into silence, please know that I will continue to look for you, telling myself that even in the darkest hours some people clung to the hope that finally prevailed.

Even when something seems inevitable, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I told you this sentence in February 2008, just a few days before you disappeared and I still believe in it today.

 

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/family-of-marilyn-bergeron-missing-for-9-years-refuses-to-give-up-hope-1.3985929
http://montrealgazette.com/news/quebec/reward-tripled-for-information-about-quebec-woman-missing-since-2008
http://montreal.ctvnews.ca/reward-increased-for-woman-missing-since-2008-1.3288144

 

Missing for Five Years, Open Letter to Marilyn

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Dear Marilyn,

For five years now you have not been a part of my life.
I hope that this is a personal choice, but doubt and anxiety sober me.
What happened to you?

The reality of your loss sinks in every day, but I cannot adapt to the worries.
It gnaws the heart… Responses that never come. Your voice only resonates in the past.

In the meantime, I’m still looking for you.

I wish I could express to you once more the love I have for you, which in turn carries the hope.
The words are missing, just as you are, and I miss you. Fortunately, I still have the memories and hope.

I have dreams that are light as wings,
That leave me their joy to the heart, in souvenir,
That always fly back forever
I have dreams that are like swallows.
– Translation of ”Rêves” by Albert Lozeau. (5-8)

Write me if you can (http://www.findmarilyn.com). If you cannot, know that I will not forget you.

Your sister who loves you,
Nathalie xxx

Message from Senator Pierre-Hugues Boisvenu

To the Bergeron family,

Five years later and still no answer… There is no worse pain for a mother, father, or sister than to remain without any news of their loved ones who disappeared.  On this day, we all think about Marilyn. I’m wholeheartedly with you and I pray that she will be found alive.

To all of the families who live with the disappearance of a relative, keep your hope alive and do not ever give up.

One day you will have an answer.

Disappear

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by Andrée Béchard, mother of Marilyn
Do not tell me the time arranges things,
Do not tell me to cross steps one by one,
Do not talk to me about mourning,
But tell me of hope.
Give me the strength,
Tell me not to despair.
Disappear.
It’s her silence.
Silence in her voice, her joys, her music.
These are life moments without her,
Moments that should be shared.
It’s the usual gaze on the same objects, her objects,
Interspersed with daily actions,
Where words and questions are lost.
Do not tell me to move on,
In this new situation, I still find her.
Do not talk to me as if she no longer exists.
She is just elsewhere, perhaps even different.
Do not tell me about memories and forgetting them at the same time,
But tell me of will,
Tell me of energy fighting fear,
Give me wisdom;
Which allows me to believe and carry on.
Disappear
It is to speak of her in the present tense,
Without counting the hours and days that separate me from her,
The darkness of the night comes back and helps clear away the heaviness of her absence.
Still, I look forward to the new morning!
Who knows … at sunset …
I may finally have the long awaited news!
MESSAGE TO MARILYN
To our beloved daughter, Marilyn
Since February 17, 2008, we never stop thinking about you. We are looking for you everywhere. Being without news of you has profoundly changed our lives. You know how much we love you. We would love to see you and hug you.
Wherever you are, whatever your lifestyle, we will respect you. We will always be there to support, encourage, and help you if that’s what you want. We kindly ask Mary… Please contact us, your family, so that we can be relieved in hearing your voice.
You cannot imagine how happy it would make us!
We are so worried and sad!
Give us some news Mary! We need you!
Mom and dad who love you xxx